Journal Entry 1 - Saturday August 28, 2021

Okay, SO. I honestly never thought I would be the kind of person to do this. But here we are.

I’m writing a journal. Initially I was planning to journal on paper, but I am literally an open book so instead, I am going to start writing my journal here. I did try telling stories on my vlogs once upon a time, but honestly I am just WAY better with words than I am on camera, so I think this will go way better. I also have this thing where my mind races when I’m trying to figure out what to say and all of a sudden I have no idea what I’m saying or how to say what I’m thinking. Moral of the story, I think this will be way easier. So welcome to my journal. If you choose to read it, great! I hope you enjoy! If not, that’s A-OK too! But clearly if you’ve made it this far, you have SOME sort of interest. Alright so that’s about all I’m going to write as an intro… Let’s get right in to the update.

08/28/2021

Dear Journal…

Today was actually a really really good day.

Initially, I was not looking forward to today. The province I live in has lifted almost all restrictions, which you would think would be a great thing, but honestly just means I have spent time around TONS of people lately. Which leads us back to my plans for today. A few days ago, my mom told me we were going to be visiting my Grandpa (Who beat cancer, but has JUST gotten out of the hospital), and my Great Grandma who is 99. Yes. You read that right. NINETY-FREAKING-NINE. She turns 100 in about a month. SO having been a selfish millennial, I was worried that there was a chance, even if it’s small, that I could possibly have COVID. Not because of symptoms or anything like that, but because some people don’t react AT ALL. These are two very important humans in my life, that also happen to be in the high risk category. So yeah, needless to say I was worried.

The way the day played out was amazing. Regardless of my (potentially irrational) fears, seeing my family was something I didn’t realize I had been missing. I’ll summarize this so as not to bore you with the details, but we spent the whole morning harvesting my grandpas garden, and got to visit a bit, then went to my Great Grandmas place and played some dice. That is the majority of the activities today, but what I really want to get in to is where my head is at after the day I’ve had.

SO, while visiting my great grandmother, she asked about my rings (I wear 6 of them) and as I was showing her them, she pulled a ring off her pinkie and said “I should have given you this a long time ago but I didn't and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. I want you to have it.” I’m not going to lie to you, I was STUNNED. From what I can recall, I’ve never been given anything sentimental like this and I nearly cried.

I have spent the entire day staring at this ring, and all I can seem to wonder is, what is the story behind it?? Where did this ring come from? How long has my GGma had it? Who bought it?

What I’ve realized in wondering all these things, is just how little I know about her life. About any of my grandparents lives. By the age of 99, you’ve LIVED, and that must mean you have stories to tell and wisdom to share. How have I never asked about it?? How has all of this life experience and wisdom and everything passed by me? These realizations, quite frankly have me feeling like a super shitty human being. I don’t deserve this. So here’s what I’m going to do about it.

Next weekend, I am going to drive my ass right back to my Great Grandmothers place and start asking questions, and ask her to tell me some stories about what her life has been like. It’s fun to understand people and who and how they are based on what they’ve been through. She’s been alive a CENTURY. I can’t wait to hear what I find out!!

Today was a good day. I got a new ring, got a reality check, and I’m going to have some great stories very very soon. I’ll keep you in the loop of course. And just to be clear, this isn’t everything I thought about or dealt with today but it‘s something. A new beginning. So stay tuned because a lot more will be coming. Have a wonderful rest of your day.

XOXO

Alanna